*This blog gives general advice and is not to be taken until after consulting with a medical professional
So you’ve just had a baby and you’re new to whole “no sleep” thing when you suddenly think to yourself, “how the hell am I ever going to enjoy sex again?”
It comes as no surprise to anyone who has had a baby, vaginally or by c-section, the fear or hesitation around intimacy. Many things happen to your body during delivery than can leave some emotional as well as physical scarring. While many woman experience a range of healing experiences, many doctors and midwives advise to wait a minimum of six weeks before resuming sexual activity. Some woman feel perfectly fine to resume quicker than others, but do not feel pressured or worried if you libido or emotional state holds you back. This is your time, new momma, take it at your own pace. The most important thing to remember in this journey back to intimacy post baby, is to take is slow, use lubrication and engage in more foreplay than you usually would have in the past. Think of this as new chapter of sexual pleasure you get to explore, rather than a sentence of overcoming a new sexual body.
Many women post delivery will often have symptoms of vaginal dryness, lower libido, tenderness or soreness (especially after tearing or an episiotomy), or general fatigue from the new crying Roomate. Take this time for you and your partner to get closer emotionally in this new chapter of being parents. Maybe there were some delivery hiccups you both haven’t yet found the time to discuss; and in doing so you can really open up about expectations and desires moving forward with your intimate bodies.
This level of emotional vulnerability is especially important in getting back to intimacy, as you will need meet each other with different needs. You will be surprised at how this closeness will open the door to even greater emotional experience of pleasure once sex is resumed.
Now let’s talk about foreplay...
First of all, if foreplay was not a part of the game before you had a baby, it for sure needs to be integrated now. Your body just went through a lot of changes and may need a little extra loving and stimulation to get lubricated again. Don’t be afraid to take more time to ease into things. You and your partner may even be surprised on how intense this new love connection can get!
Another thing to consider when getting back into the bedroom, is utilizing lubricants and new toys to intensify the experience. Maybe a total penetrative sexual experience isn’t on your radar just yet, but you still want to be intimate with your partner. Well you are in luck because there are plenty of vibrating and sucking toys on the market that are perfect for clitoral stimulation and gentle teasing, without the full package (if you know what we mean).
Remember that during this new era of sex and bedroom play after giving birth is a journey, not a destination. Every body is different and it is entirely up to you to do things on your time and not anyone else. Lean on your partner for support and assistance, and if there is any pain or discomfort be sure to let your doctor know immediately.
You’re doing amazing new Momma!